The 4 S’s Interview: How to Begin

Research tells us that young people need a web of positive relationships to successfully cope with not only stressful events but daily life. Caring alone is not enough. Parents, alone, are not enough.

We wrote earlier about the Developmental Relationships framework we use as a foundation for the Youth Horizons Mentor Program. We also outlined the 4 S’s principles – developed by Search Institute – to help create connections quickly with kids and teens and lay the groundwork for building strong relationships.

Now it’s time to share a hands-on, practical ways of doing just that!

The 4 S’s Interview

The 4S’s Interview is designed for getting to know a young person by validating four important aspects of their lives:

• Sparks: Talents, deep interests, and activities that bring enjoyment and meaning to life
• Strengths: Skills, behaviors, attitudes, and values that promote success and development
• Struggles: Problems that cause concern and potentially undermine success and development
• Supports: People and programs that nurture sparks, build on strengths, and reduce struggles
  

What you need: A quiet, private space for the conversation and 30 minutes. That’s it!

How to begin

Step 1. Before conducting the interview, consider and keep in mind the following:

a. Conduct the interview in an informal and warm way. While you can make brief notes to remember what the student says, avoid typing answers or making the experience feel like a test.

b. Your two primary objectives in getting to know the student’s sparks, strengths, struggles, and supports are to make the student feel understood and validated. Research shows that feeling understood and validated by another person are the strongest contributors to establishing a sense of relatedness between people (Reis et al., 2000; Reis et al., 2010).

c. During the interview, respond to the student in ways that convey you are really listening, such as asking a follow-up question that explores an answer a bit more deeply. After the interview, find ways to refer back to the things you learned about the student throughout your interaction with her or him.

Step 2. Relay the following instructions to the student and begin the interview:

a. I am going to ask you a few questions about four things that start with the letter S: sparks, strengths, struggles, and supports. Sparks are your talents, deep interests, and activities that you love doing. Strengths are your skills, values, habits, and other things about you that help you do well in life. Struggles are the things that you worry about and that cause you problems. Supports are the people and programs and even places that help you get through your struggles and succeed at things.

b. I am asking these questions only to get to know you better. I will even share with you some of my own 4 S’s from time to time. I may write down a few things so I can remember what you say, but this is not a test in any way. There are no right answers and you can share your honest feelings.

Reflection/Debrief After the conversation, tell the student that from time to time (or at each check-in) you will do activities that help further explore and share the 4 S’s: sparks, strengths, struggles, and supports. Ask the student if he or she has any questions for you. Thank the young person for sharing part of her or his story with you.

Now you have the setup to prepare. Follow this short series as we guide you step-by-step through the interview questions that will help you create deeper, more meaningful connections with your kids, mentees, and every other kid you are blessed to come into contact with during their young lives.

We’ve got you covered with specific interview questions for each of the 4 S’s principles: Spark, Strengths, Struggles, and Supports.

Next: The 4 S’s Interview: Sparks Questions